New Year's Resolutionology

Welcome, 2011! 

While 2010 was a good year, I’m happy to move on, because I’m very excited about the future and to see what it has in store. 

Although I consider myself an expert in New Year’s Resolutionology, (move over Sarah Palin, you’re not the only one who can invent new words!) having made so many myself, I am not officially making any New Year’s Resolutions this year.  Did you know that studies show that 36% of New Year’s Resolutions are broken by the end of January?  And by the end of six months, over 50% are broken.  Those are not good odds, so I’m not taking them; the bet is off.  Instead, I am making promises to myself:

1.         To get in shape (I've always thought that pear is a very nice shape). 

2.         To listen to my body (especially when it’s screaming at me to put the doughnut down!)

3.         To lose weight (where does it go when you lose it?  You know it’s hiding somewhere, because it always comes back). 

4.         To not get frustrated when my body isn’t cooperating with my plans (I am normal, supermodels are not). 

5.         To not listen to all the so-called diet experts (snack on carrot sticks when you’re hungry?  Seriously?!!)

6.         When life gives you lemons, make lemonade Greyhounds (oh wait….that’s grapefruit juice….Oh well, I’m sure it’ll work anyway) 

7.         When I’m ever-so-slightly lying about, overemphasizing, embellishing my weight loss, I’ll tell myself what a very good liar storyteller I am. 

I didn’t accomplish all of my goals last year, but I got a pretty good start.  I ran 406 miles!  I lost 40 pounds (and gained back 10 L).  To those people who say that you can eat whatever you want as long as you’re exercising, I say LIARS!    !  It is sooo NOT true!  That’s all I have to say about that! 

Looking back through my calendar I can see where I slacked off, and where my best months were.  I can see where I was motivated, and when I lost it (hiding under the couch cushion – I didn’t look there), I can see where my weight was steadily decreasing (before I started gaining and quit recording it – if you can’t see it, it isn’t there!).  Yes, I am one of those kooky people that record inane details on a daily basis.  Which is a good thing, because my drill sergeant daughter (my own self-appointed personal trainer) gave me a Runner’s World Training Journal for Christmas, “a daily dose of motivation, training tips & running wisdom for every kind of runner – from fitness joggers to competitive racers.”  She filled it with six months of training plans so that I can get ready to run a half marathon in June.  She also gave me moleskins (for blisters), Spa Lavender Foot Soak with Aloe-Infused Lounge Socks (for sore and calloused feet?), and a book of 100 Stretches (I can touch my toes if I bend my knees J). 

She took me to the Air Force Academy to show me their 13 mile trail that she says I’m going to run in a few months.  It is forested with trees and brush, mountainous, and desperately desolate.  So now I’m scared.  Reallly scared (that’s me, scared, over on the right.  Note the terrified eyes and vacant expression).  What in the world does she have planned for me?!  I don’t think she realizes that I’m 50!  That’s 50 years old, people!  And fat!  And all sorts of other things, besides!  (Please refer back to my previous blog on ‘excuses’).  She’s only doing it because it’s payback time she loves me…. right?

On the lighter side, here are some words of wisdom that I have learned over the years:

Happiness is there for the grabbing; use both hands.

Apply life lessons learned; they are proven guides.

Pick good friends for life’s journey; it makes the trip easier.

Perspective takes time; step back and think first – things will look differently tomorrow.

Years fly by quickly; don’t wait for tomorrow to pursue your dreams.

New beginnings come with every new day; take advantage.

Enjoy small things as well as the big; good things can come in small packages.

Wealth is a frame of mind; material things don’t belong there. 

You are unique in all the world; there is nobody else like you; you are special!

Excellence is overrated; it’s more fun to laugh at your mistakes.

Always follow your heart; it won’t ever let you down.

Resolve to be kinder to yourself; you deserve it. 

2010 was my practice year, and now I’m ready for the real thing! 

To my friends and family: I may joke, but I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your love and support, without which I couldn’t take the first step. 

May you have Hope, Health, Humor and Happiness in the New Year. 

God Bless and Godspeed.