February 20, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge

This is the first campaigner challenge  in Rach Harrie's Fourth Writer's Platform-Building Campaign.

AND THE FIRST CHALLENGE IS:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:

  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write
  • make your story 200 words exactly!
We are to see how whacky, creative and original we can get.

I've met all of the requirements and added challenges.

Here is my story.

Beware the Shadows

Shadows crept across the wall as the orange moon rose higher in the midnight sky. Darkness enveloped me like a second skin, fear trapped in every pore. I crept along, one with the shifting darkness...

Snap!

I whirled. “Shhh!” I hissed in a loud whisper. “Someone might hear us.” I turned back to the wall and edged along the shadows.

“Sorry,” Simon whispered back. “I can’t bleedin’ see. “Ow!” He tripped and stumbled into my back. “Tell me again what we’re doing here in the middle of the night?”

I sighed. “I told you. I didn’t get to shake his hand. If I could just hold something of his, grasp it in my hands, I might be able to read the energy from it and figure out what he’s up to.”

“Just what is it you suspect him of?”

I shivered. “Murder.”

We shimmied the wall and dropped to the other side, landing in a crouch. Taking the lead, I hurried toward the dark house. I skittered onto an oval mound of loosely packed dirt and sank down like an anchor, a rotten odor spewing up.

Simon snagged a shovel from against the wall.

I grasped the handle.

Everything faded.

As a side note, the energy the MC talks about reading is Psychometry, a way of reading the energy of an object to reveal it's history.

To check out all the entries, GO HERE. I am #52 if you want to "like" mine:)

62 comments:

Jess said...

Ooh very cool! It's cool that your MC uses Psychometry! Great job!

I'm entry #19

Lady Gwen said...

Thanks Jess - the MC in my novel uses psychometry so I thought this would be fun:)

Melanie Stanford said...

Good job- loved the mix of humor and suspense.

Lady Gwen said...

Thanks Melanie, I loved yours, too:)

Claire L. Fishback said...

Fun story! Yes, the smell of dog poo makes me gag, too. I can relate. HAHA!

I'm #56 if you wanna read mine!

Lady Gwen said...

Claire, thank you. I enjoyed your entry, too. I'm the one who had fun playing with your fish:)

Brenna Braaten said...

Hey there! New campaigner here finally making the rounds.

I liked your challenge writing. Very nicely done.

Anonymous said...

Nice job on setting and mood. Loved the descriptions such as "Darkness enveloped me like a second skin, fear trapped in every pore." Also thought the dog poo was a nice comic relief among the tension. Good job!

Carrie Butler said...

Ooo...

"Darkness enveloped me like a second skin, fear trapped in every pore."

I love that! :) Great work!

Christy Farmer said...

Somehow I feel she fainted from the stench! Nice Job :-)

Treelight said...

I enjoyed reading this. I wish it would continue.

(I'm #60)

Lady Gwen said...

Brenna, thanks for stopping by and commenting:)

Carrie, that's my favorite line - thanks for commenting on it:)

Christy, I know I'd faint, lol:)

Treelight, thank you so much for your kind words:)

Christine Rains said...

Great piece. Love the suspense!

Morgan said...

"Darkness enveloped me like a second skin" <----Loooved that. Nice work! I enjoyed this. (Annnnd new follower here... I'll look forward to your posts--looks like a fab blog!)

JEFritz said...

Great job of describing. I could almost see the darkness. That psychometry sounds interesting.

Overall: awesome.

Morgan said...

Congratulations! Your piece has been shortlisted to advance to the quarter final round. Good luck!

David P. King said...

I thoroughly loved these two characters. Such good chemistry between them. Nice one! :)

Nick Wilford said...

Very intriguing - I'd like to know a lot more. I didn't know about psychometry, so your novel sounds interesting. Is it a grave he stumbles into? Explaining the shovel nearby... Thanks for following me, I'll do likewise!

S.P. Bowers said...

Interesting, I wonder what she sees when touching the shovel. Maybe it was the murder weapon. You definitely leave me wanting more.

Rachel Morgan said...

"A rotten odor spewing up" <--- Ugh! I can totally imagine sinking into dirt and smelling that!

kmckendry said...

Love your line, "darkness enveloped me like a second skin." Great imager!

Ainsley Shay said...

I liked it very much!! Great job!

Ann Cory said...

Exciting! Nice imagery and I'm intrigued by the energy :)

Stuart Nager said...

I want to know what image was seen when the handle was grasped!!!

Tale Spinning: Wednesday's Child

Alyssa said...

I really enjoyed reading this! I want to know what happens next! :D

I'm #37

Theresa Small Sneed said...

Nice blog! Very nice story! I'm in your group for Rachael's 4th Campaign! Great to get to know you! ~Theresa Sneed, author of No Angel (and angel with an attitude) and its forthcoming prequel, From Heaven to Earth. http://theresasmallsneed.blogspot.com

Michelle Pickett said...

Great, Gwen! I loved the description and the sense of dread.

Excellent job,
Michelle #106 :)

www.michelle-pickett.com

Lady Gwen said...

Christine, thanks - I'm pretty new at flash fiction but I'm learing.

Morgan - I am so thrilled! My first 1/4 final! Thanks for liking my story:) I am jumping up and down, trust me *huge grin*

David, thanks. It's hard to do characterization in flash fiction, but these two characters are from my WIP.

Nick, yes it's a grave she stumbles into. Then when she touches the shovel used to dig it....

S.P. You're spot on - thanks for "getting" it:)

Rachel, Yeah, I though "spew" was a great verb and had fun using it:)

K- I thought that was my best line, too - thanks for liking it:)

Ainsley - thank you much.

Ann - Reading energy is my MC's "power".

STuart - Murder!

Alyssa, thank you very much, you're very kind.

Theresa, thanks. Your book titles sound intriguing - I'll have to put them on my TBR list.

Michelle, thank you. Can't wait to read yours:)

Liza said...

Oh this is neat. The idea of Psychometry is intriguing. Well done with the prompts!

Lori Ann Freeland said...

Loved it. Wanted to know more, more,more.

alexia said...

Cool! Nice job.

sue said...

Intriguing - nice set up

Ashley Nixon said...

Ah, orange moons are creepy and so are murderers! Good job!

Erin Kane Spock said...

I did like yours. Very much. It was clever how you worked everything fading as she started her vision. I'm hoping the soft oval pile is compost. :)

Southpaw said...

Very nice. I can't help but be a little curious if the shovel is also a murder weapon.

Melanie Fowler said...

Love it Gwen! Great job creating the feelings and wonderful story!

Marieke said...

Psychometry? Cool! Great job!

Kevin Hiatt said...

So cool, I loved the dark ambiance. Very fun to read.

bridgetstraub.com said...

So to prove a murder would they have to touch the weapon? Interesrting. I enjoyed it.

Sarah Pearson said...

Yuck, I'm glad I'm not her! Lovely description Gwen.

Miranda Hardy said...

What a very intriguing story and premise. Great job and the imagery was awesome.

yikici said...

Oooo, talk about keep us guessing! You totally kept me wanting to read more -lovely story. :)

Here's one of my own... ;)

*sneaks up from behind the pc screen* "TAAAGGGG" *runs off squeaking* ;)

You are officially 'it' here are your choices: a) Accept it graciously b) Ignore it -well, I can't stop you c) Make a sound so I know you've taken the blow and are chasing others out there and d) Pass the tag on -and nope, I'm not accepting the tag again, find someone new. :P

Should you take on the tag, here's where to source out the questions you need to answer on yikici' post Savvy Salutations' to...ermm...the Tagged Person.

Humpty Dumpty said...

Psychometry, what a cool tool for such a suspenseful story! Nice work!

(BTW, I'm Susan from My Withershins. Don't let the Humpty Dumpty name fool you. For some reason Blogspot doesn't seem to like the Wordpress folk, making it hard for us to comment, so I'm using an old ID)

Natasha Hanova said...

How cool is this. Great writing.

Lady Gwen said...

Liza, I find psychometry intriguing, too. You should see what it does to my MC in my novel:)

Lori Ann, thank you, thank you, thank you:)

Alexia, thank you.

Sue, thank you very much.

Lady Gwen said...

Ashley, murder seems to go well with orange moons!

Erin, lol - no it's not compost:)

Southpaw, you're spot on!

Melanie, thanks for your kind words:)

Marieke, psychometry is intriguing - especially the way I use it in my book:)

Kevin, the darker the better, lol:)

Bridget, that would work. When the MC touches the shovel handle, well she saw more than she wanted to!

Sarah, yeah it was pretty yucky:)

Miranda, thanks for your very kind words!

Yikici, NOOOoooooo! I've been tagged again - I think this is my fourth time:)

Humpty Dumpty, I'm glad you found a way around the wordpress thing. Thanks for you kind words:)

Natasha, thank you so much:)

Traci Kenworth said...

Great story.

Lady Gwen said...

Traci, thank you:)

Lauren W. said...

Fantastic ending! Great build up and I also love the line "Darkness enveloped me like a second skin, fear trapped in every pore."

Gwen said...

Ooo, this sounds so interesting. I want to read more.

Caitlin said...

Very neat that you have psychometry involved in your story! I'd love to know what happens after this.

Sher A. Hart said...

Yeah, what they all said, especially that line. Great atmosphere and great psychometric ending. Is that a word? I would read your book.

Tell me if you'd like to read mine after you read my entry, a prolog. I'm number 148.

Komal said...

I just finished reading a novel where the MC had the gift of psychometry! It sounds really exciting and I really enjoyed it!

Lady Gwen said...

Lauren, thanks. I wondered how many people "got" the end.

Gwen, thank you so much!

Caitlin, hopefully you can read more when my novel gets published.

Sher, lol - thanks:) I'll be by to read your story soon.

Komal, really? I haven't seen any other novels with psychometry - I thought I was the only one!

C.M.Brown said...

Nicely written! Fun story!

C.M.Brown said...

Nicely written! Fun story!

C.M.Brown said...

Nicely written! Fun story!

C.M.Brown said...

Nicely written! Fun story!

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Chemist Ken said...

Very nice. It's not easy to generate tension in so few words. And I enjoyed the descriptions. Welcome to the Campaign!

Shannon Lawrence said...

Fun entry! Such a good prompt, too. I like the light-heartedness behind it, despite the fact that they were seeking a possible murderer.

Shannon at The Warrior Muse, co-host of the 2012 #atozchallenge! Twitter: @AprilA2Z

Gonzalez said...

Ooo, this sounds so interesting. I want to read more.