May 13, 2011

My (Oh-So-Interesting) Job Description


·         Owner and sole contributor to the running blog, a lame but fun motivational blog for beginning and overweight runners.
·         Responsible for running three days per week in order to provide myself with more fodder and potential blackmail material to write about my inept running experiences.
·         Motivate and inspire other beginning runners through my own pathetic running experiences.
·         Responsible for recruiting followers and readers through rehearsing and performing pitiful faces and whining, thereby guilting my friends and family into reading my blog.
·         Obsessively Track the amount of traffic to my blog to reassure myself affirm that people are stopping by and reading about my crappy enormous progress.


·         Young Adult (YA) fiction novel currently in progress (no, really!).
·         Single-handedly responsible for the creative inspiration for my YA book series.
·         YA novel includes completion of six chapters of incoherent and confusing mesmerizing and enthralling young adult protagonists who work together to solve a murder mystery through their exceptional investigative abilities and in the case of one, the enviable ability to see and speak with ghosts.
·         Caretaker of impressionable young characters.


·         Author of the Top Ten Excuses Reasons Why I Can’t Write Today, the Top Ten Excuses Reasons Why I Can’t Run Today and Queen of Procrastination, conveniently filed in the receptacle beneath my desk for easy access.  
·         Served as the inspiration to the invention of butt glue as a means of keeping the procrastinating rear end in the chair in order to write more prolifically. (Warning: does not always work, please read instructions carefully and check for side effects.)
·         Instrumental in implementing the hugely successful weekly Starbuck’s meeting with key individuals (Me, Myself and I) in order to inspire further creativity while avoiding continual monotony, a serious side effect that is sometimes created by butt glue – see warning above. Cappuccino is an added benefit.
·         Experienced web surfer researcher.

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